realterezipyrope:

person: u should like more colours

me: image

hippopotamus-hi-tops:

things your friends will say if you’ve made a good pun:

  • get out
  • fuck you
  • shut the fuck up
  • oh my god why
  • you need to stop
  • you’re not funny
  • that was terrible

unpluggedoutlet:

Like a proud father.
darkest-fallen-angel:

platypus-in-a-bottle:

kristoffbjorgman:

a sad and lonely Mike Wazowski for your dashboard
I wonder what happens when you drag him

love how this is gonna look on my blog

IF YOURE ON MOBILE CLICK IT!!!
Graduation speech
  • *Points to person*: Fuck you
  • *Points to person*: Fuck you
  • *Points to person*: Fuck you
  • *Points to person*: Fuck you
  • *Points to crush*: Fuck me
  • *Points to person*: Fuck you
  • *Points to person*: Fuck you
diaaanuhhh:

This has to be the cutest thing
themattyhealy:

WELCOME TO THE WILD RIDE FUCKBOY 
siouxzie-queue:

mi-shellvp:

estasfuera:

“A little bit of Monica in my life,A little bit of Erica by my side,A little bit of Rita is all I need,A little bit of Tina is what I see,A little bit of Sandra in the sun,A little bit of Mary all night long,A little bit of Jessica, here I am…”

If you don’t know this reference, you’re definitely too young for me. 

You know you sang it in your head.
I really sang it out loud

soufflesandbowties:

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

lemonysnicketlibrary:

Dear Eyewitness,
If you are looking at this on purpose, welcome.  Crucial information regarding Lemony Snicket’s new book series, All The Wrong Questions, including the newest volume, “Shouldn’t You Be In School?”, can be found by following this secret tumblr.
This information is for authorized use only and should only be reblogged by those with internet access.
If you are reading this by accident, there is nothing to see here.  Move along. Perhaps you’ll find something of interest by clicking any of these links:
Barnes & Noble | Indiebound | iBooks